why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
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