Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
