he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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