I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
