think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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