need another drink. this is the easiest way
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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