she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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