Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just gargled with NyQuil
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
