'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
