i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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