You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
