My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
