I am puke
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
