Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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