roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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