i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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