I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
