I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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