Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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