i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
