You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
