just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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