i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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