your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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