is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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