Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
