google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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