just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
