I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
