You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
