So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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