he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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