Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
