I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
