ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
