My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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