I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
