She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
