I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
