If i come over, it means nothing
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
