Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
