white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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