She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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