I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
