i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
