i don't like sucking hair
Duck Duck Cougar?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
