Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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