Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
