none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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