I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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