i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
