literally had 100 drinks last night.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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