Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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