Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
