K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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