Having a random hookup so left but love u
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
