Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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