Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just blew my weed a kiss
sex in a hospital.. check
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
