Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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