We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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