k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
