wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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