You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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