I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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