dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You're a waste of cheezeits
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
