My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
