We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
