I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
you never un-have a 4some
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
