It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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