id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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