i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
