Umm I'm too high to move.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
