Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Its about making memories worth repressing
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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