She said her name was "party"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
