How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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