Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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