Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
