why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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