i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize